Tuesday, September 3, 2013


We have been busying ourselves with distractions as we try to move forward and pick up the pieces of this failed adoption. Sometimes putting on a happy face and trying is better than laying on the couch with a tub of ice cream. I have done both in the past couple of weeks.

After our spectacular adoption fail, we headed to the Poconos for a little R&R. The Inn at Pocono Manor was like the set of Dirty Dancing. It is an old hotel with lots of charm and resort-like activities. It was supposed to be haunted, but we didn't encounter any ghosts. I loved it. We had breakfast at this "breakfast in a skillet" place that we ate at 10 years before when we came to the Poconos on a ski trip. It was exactly the same. We swam in the pool, went on a hike, listened to music and hit the casino. We won enough money to buy two Bloody Mary cocktails. I was perfectly happy about that. We needed some space from what happened. We were raw, but made the best of the trip.

Marlon took me to see Kick-Ass 2. I couldn't remember the last time we went to the movies. We had passes, so we actually splurged on the snacks from the concession instead of bringing in snacks. Come on, you know you have all brought in your own snacks. The movie was entertaining and served its purpose -- a distraction.

I gave myself a mini make-over. If you look good, you feel good, right? It's a theory... Anyway, I got my hair cut and went to Sephora and did my make-up with their samples. We owe 15k in legal fees from this adoption fail, so I wasn't actually going to buy new make-up. The samples did the trick. I did invest in some wrinkle cream hoping it would erase the bags under my eyes from crying. The wrinkle cream and concealer combo seem to be helping. I do feel better.

My hubby asked me on a date and the place was a surprise. The only clues were that it was on a Saturday and we would drive. (We have a car now, one of the things that has stayed put after the fail. We needed the car to go back and forth (120 miles RT) to the hospital everyday. We aren't quite ready to part with our trusty '94 Volvo wagon.)

I kind of had an inkling of where we were going, but I didn't snoop or investigate online. I wanted to be surprised. We went to the Scottish Highland Games in Old Westbury! Oh how does my honey know me. Scots in kilts cheered me right up! We went down a slide in a burlap sack, watched the caber toss and the hay toss, ate fish and chips, walked the grounds of Old Westbury Gardens and voted in the antique car show. I got a new plaid winter hat as a souvenir. We had fun, but I know we were both watching all the families there having a good time. It's hard, sometimes it just hits us. We took a little break and put down our (plaid) blanket under a tree away from the festivities and laid there. It was like everything around us disappeared.  I think we both needed a moment. I really enjoyed the day; I do love the Highland games and all things Scottish, except haggis.

We are trying and that's all we can do right now to get through each day. The truth is that our hearts are hurting. We are putting the adoption thing on hold until at least the new year. If something should fall into our laps, we are definitely open to considering it, but we aren't actively pursuing adoption. Right now, we are practicing our happy faces, keeping busy and hoping that one day a true happy face will reappear.


  1. I am praying for three true happy faces! My love to you and your thoughtful husband.


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