So, I know that nothing is 100% with adoption. Matches fail. Things can turn on a dime. However, I feel really confident about our match and I am choosing to be positive and happy. I want to act like any awaiting mother. I want to be excited, I want to share this excitement with everyone.
I debated about announcing the news. Do we register? Do even think about having a baby shower? Someone reminded me, even though it is somewhat morbid, that no pregnancy is 100%. Things can happen too. That I should be excited and I should prepare for motherhood.
Instead of being pregnant and worrying about all the normal things expectant moms worry about, I will have alternate experience waiting for our daughter's birth. I will worry about if I will be the mom our birthmom hopes that I will be. I'll be reading books about parenting adopted children and parenting a child of another race. (Our daughter will be biracial, her biological mother is white and her biological father is black.) I will wonder what our child will look like. I will be nervous about how things will go at the hospital. And in the back of my mind, I may worry a little about whether this will really happen.
We felt a connection with this courageous, bright girl. When I asked her if we may tell people she said, "tell people I pick you and it's official." She had a big smile on her face. She gave us like five hugs and showed us her round little belly. She said she was excited too. What more could I ask for?
I know things could go not the way I hope, but I am all in and will not let myself be reserved. I am going to do all the things that any awaiting mom is supposed to do. My wait is only a little more than 3 months, ok maybe 9 years and 3 months of hoping that this would happen. It's too late anyway, I love this daughter of mine already.
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illustration by Alessandro Gottardo
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UPDATE: Our match failed. We are heart broken, but we are dusting ourselves off and getting back on the rollercoaster. Read about it here: http://twocatsandacradle.blogspot.com/2013/03/were-down-but-not-out.html
Great post! It brings tears to my eyes just thinking that you are a waiting mom right now. Absolutely Amazing!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I am running the gamut of emotions these days. I can hardly believe that after all this time, I could possibly be a mom soon. Very overwhelming.
DeleteI'm glad to have found you through the Open Adoption Blogger site. Good luck on your journey! I definitely get what you said - your wait has been all of those years. Looking forward to hearing what happens!
ReplyDeleteThank you! You never think when you decide "let's have a baby" that it would take that long. But after trying, surgery, infertility treatments and adoption the years just go by. I like to think thisbis happening because it is right now is the right time. Thanks for reading!
DeleteCongrats Jenn! I read your blog a few weeks ago and was touched by your journey. My husband and I are also high school sweethearts and have been together for 20 years (similar to your story.) We are just starting this process, so it’s wonderful to hear of successes like yours.
ReplyDeleteMay I ask if the fundraising portions of your blog have brought good results? I’m typically a very private person, but I was impressed at how subtle and unintrusive the fundraising on your site was.
Congrats again on your match!!!
Hi! Thanks for reading. I am so glad to hear from someone that is expanding their family after 20 years together as well. I started to think my husband and I were crazy for doing this. We are really excited for our next chapter.
DeleteI found fundraising a bit difficult for me personally. I hate asking for help and even worse asking for money. Some families are quite aggressive with the fundraising, but we weren't. We had the best successes with a Christmas ornament fundraiser. I ordered 5 different ornaments for Oriental Trading (they came 12 to a box) and gave one ornament to people donating $5 and the whole set for a donation of $25. If you do something similar, be careful not to say you are selling them. It is a gift for a donation. Most of them went as sets.
The other success I had was with a Tupperware party. My sister threw an old-fashioned in home party and we had a great turnout. Tupperware donated a percentage of the total sales to our adoption fund. The online parties really don't work that well. It's worth the time to have a home party.
Good luck with the fundraising and the adoption! All the best to you!
Yes! Thank you for sharing your "all in" approach!!! Love it. That was always my approach with my four adoptions as well. All the best of luck to you on this amazing journey. xo Elizabeth
ReplyDeletehttp://www.adoptiongoddess.com
Thanks! I feel like that's the only was I can be. If some reason this match doesn't work out, I'll be devastated, but in my heart know that it how it was meant to be. Going to check out your blog right now!
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