The uncertainty of waiting to adopt is what gets to me. I am a planner at heart and the not knowing when something is going to happen is frustrating. I know we all get surprised by life, but usually someone expecting has nine months to prepare.
We got a call from our social worker about two weeks ago asking if they could show our profile to an expectant mother. We have asked our social worker not to tell us when our profile is shown, it is too nerve wracking for us, but this expectant mother's situation didn't exactly match our profile, so she wanted to check with us first. Marlon and I quickly decided yes, we wanted our profile shown.
As you know, we've been working on a new adoption book and it's almost finished. We printed the pages of the new book and sent them to the social worker so they could show the new version to the expectant mother. And then we waited. It is kind of like holding your breath. Will they pick us? Oh my gosh! We could have a baby soon. Should plan to do this, what if we did that? It's enough to make anyone crazy. This is why we don't want to know when our profile is shown.
We told our parents and siblings and a couple of close friends that our profile was being shown. It's hard to keep it to yourself. We decided maybe we should get serious about doing a registry and pick out some necessities in case we needed to go and buy something quick. We spent an afternoon in Babies 'R Us. The whole picking out baby stuff made me feel a little lightheaded. You've wanted something for so long and now it might come true. It's very overwhelming.
I kept telling myself not to get my hopes up. They are showing five couples to this expectant mother. There is only a 1 in 5 chance we'll get picked. When it's meant to be, it will happen for us. I had my juju read at Renaissance Faire, all signed pointed to a baby within the next six months which puzzled the fortune teller. She kept saying it will happen fast. I then told her we were adopting. She said, OH! that explains everything. Really though, I only had my juju read for entertainment purposes. I don't plan my life around a fortune teller. It was a encouraging reading though.
When we didn't hear back right away, we knew we didn't get picked. Someone did though and I am so happy for them. If anything, this has given us the push to get ready. We need to think about taking off of work, child care and things we'll need. I found this article, Planning for the Call, on the Adoptive Families website incredibly helpful. It's time to nest!
photo credit: S. Trykowski
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