Puzzle Fundraiser Update!

Puzzles are fun! Puzzles are kind of hard. The hubby and I spent several evenings putting together the fundraiser puzzle to see what it would look like.  I really forgot that puzzles are  challenging.  I definitely felt like my brain was working an area that wasn't getting much use.

The hubby was determined to finish the thing and stayed up late one night to work on it. The next morning I awoke to a box full of blue and white pieces that all looked the same. Who knew so many states had blue and white license plates?

We finally finished it and it looks really cool! I'll unveil the finished puzzle when all the pieces have names. We broke it apart and put it back in the box in chunks, so it will be easy to reassemble.  So far, 65 pieces are accounted for, only 935 more pieces to go! People have even started requesting which state they want their name written on or they donated enough to put each of their family member's name on a piece. You guys are really putting the "fun" into the fundraiser.  I know, corny.

So how does the puzzle fundraiser work?  Donate $5 to our adoption fund and we'll write your name on a puzzle piece.  If you donate $10, you'll get 2 pieces with your name written on the back and so on.   The puzzle will be framed and hung in our baby's room. Every time our child looks at the puzzle with all of those name, they'll know how much they are loved by all of you.  If you are interested in donating, click on our Fundraising tab.  Thank you.

As Seen On TV

Is it just me, or are there quite a few shows with adoption story lines now?  Maybe I am just noticing because we're adopting but there seems like a lot - Grey's Anatomy, Smash, Glee, Modern Family, Once Upon A Time among others.  Maybe it's the trendy thing to do.  Some shows portray adoption in a positive light, and others not so well, but it does raise the awareness level.

There was a lot of controversy about Glee's portrayal of Quinn having a hard time after she placed her daughter for adoption. She was sabotaging the mother, acting out, trying to get the baby back. This would probably be a nightmare situation for any parent who has adopted.  I know I felt a little emotional about it.  But I think it was honest to show Quinn having a hard time. Birth mothers are grieving the loss of their child.  They have just made a heart wrenching decision and it will take some time to heal.  I feel like Glee caved to pressure and wrapped up the story in a neat little bow.  It is supposed to be a comedy, right?

Once Upon A Time really gets on my nerves.  I like the concept of the show, the fairy tale intertwined with modern day life, but having the evil witch as an adoptive mother and the birth mother who comes to rescue everyone irks me a lot.  It is just irresponsible to portray an adoptive parent as evil.  What if someone was watching who is considering adoption?  What if an adopted child is watching?  It puts the wrong idea out there.  I keep hoping the evil witch will have some redeeming qualities, but I don't think that is going to happen.

Modern Family cracks me up each week. This show embraces all types of families and I think that's great.  I loved the episode when the social worker came for the adoption home visit after Cameron and Mitchell had been in a fight for a few days about cleaning the kitchen.  The house was a total wreck when the social worker came over.  It was hysterical.

It's good people are talking about adoption and thinking about it as just another way families are created.

♦ Help us adopt! Check out our puzzle fundraiser!

Don't Say That to Adoptive Parents

When we first decided to adopt, we too, had pre-conceived notions about adoption. We used what is considered negative language. Since that first meeting with our social worker, our ideas about adoption and families have evolved.

There are several lists out there of things that should never be said to adoptive parents especially in front of a their child. I have already heard a few. Most of these comments are made innocently and not meant to be hurtful. People don't realize they are being insensitive or intrusive. Questions about adoption are always welcome, but it's best never make assumptions.

Here are my top 10 no-nos:

1. Now You're Sure To Get Pregnant!
Adoption isn't a method to get pregnant nor is it a consolation prize.  Great! Our baby will have a sibling.

2. I Have This Friend Who Was Adopted And [Insert Horror Story Here]...

I watch the news, Dateline, and see drama story lines on TV. There are just as many good adoption stories they just aren't sensualized.

3. Wouldn't you rather have a child of your own?
An adopted child is my own child. There was a legal process.

4. What problems does the child have?
What problems does your child have? Any child may experience issues and parents work through problems with them. Being adopted doesn't mean there is something wrong with the child.

5. Adoption is so much easier than having the child yourself.
Were you finger printed and background checked before you were pregnant? Did you have to submit financial records and references? Did someone come to your house to make sure it was a safe environment? Did you have to wait for months and months without knowing when you'd be selected? Definitely not easier.

6. I could never give my baby away.
You don't know what circumstances a person might have when they decide to choose adoption for their child. It is a heart-wrenching decision. This person wanted the absolute best for their child and knew that someone else out there could provide them with that.

7. Wouldn't it just be easier if the adoption were closed?
Maybe it would be easier not to have to maintain a relationship with the birth parents. But having some contact with the birth parents can benefit your child by helping them understand where they came from and why they were placed for adoption.

8. That child is so lucky to have you.
Any child that is born into a loving home is lucky. Maybe we are the lucky ones.

9. How much did you pay for her/him?
Our baby will not cost anything. I am not buying a child. I will pay adoption fees, legal fees and travel expenses for the adoption process.

10. Who is her/his real mom?
I am. Period.

There are all kinds of families out there.  Our baby is currently growing in our heart.

Here are some links to other lists on what not to say to adoptive parents.

10 Things Not to Say to Adoptive Parents

Top 10 Things Not To Say To An Adoptive Parent
Top Ten Things NOT to Say to an Adoptive Parent
Our Journey of Faith

♦ Help us adopt! Check out our puzzle fundraiser!